Hashtag. Basic.

I realized after getting out of the house for a couple hours, that I was literally the most basic bitch ever today.

Sweater, boots, socks and leggings? Check.

Messy bun that I worked for 10 minutes to get it just right? Check.

Made a stop at Starbucks while I was out, and spouted my order like a pro in the drive-thru (Tall Latte Macchiato and a chocolate croissant, that's all, thank you) and stuck my phone out the car window for them to scan to pay (super convenient, bee-tee-dubs). Check.

Then I went to Hobby Lobby. Bought myself the pieces to make a monogrammed necklace. Check.

Eyeballed wall art with arrows and trite phrases, and vowed to come back and check for when they were all half off, because who the hell buys full price Hobby Lobby? No one. You know that shit is just gonna be on sale within the next two weeks. Anyhoo. Check.

Then, when I got home, I decided to think about what to wear to church tomorrow, and uttered the phrase, "I need some Pinterest inspiration". Check. 

#blessed.

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Kid Wisdom--

Knox, upon seeing the super-low full moon tonight: "If we could grow into giants, we could touch it!"

Dungeon Of Terror

About 4 and a half years ago, I hopped up on a surgical table and had a kid.

Today, I took him to his first birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese.


pictured: me, SUPER fucking pumped for an afternoon in the Seventh Circle.

A few things about me that you may not know:

I have an extreme dislike of puppets. And people in costumes. Halloween is my own personal brand of Hell.

I'm really not a huge fan of small spaces teeming with screaming children either.

So obviously Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday is the place to be, right?

The Chuck E. Cheese here in Beaumont has been the subject of at least one YouTube video, in which there's a pretty epic brawl. So honestly, I was hoping for the best--a repeat performance.

There weren't any fights, though. Some littler jerk stole my tickets off the skee-ball machine, though, and his mom just looked at me like "what are you gonna do about it?" (Answer: Nothing.)

But really, Knox had a great time, and it got him out of the house for a couple hours, to give his poor daddy some time to rest and get over the stomach grossness he had going on.

A couple OOTDs from today:

The first is my birthday party outfit. The best part about this one? All of the clothes came from WalMart. Each piece was under $20. Probably under $15 if I'm really thinking about it hard. These faux leather jeggings might be my new faves for cold days, and they look pretty relaxed with my Chucks and a slouchy tee and hoodie. Throw on some red lipstick  (NARS Velvet Matte pencil in Cruella) and it's a done deal. Earrings from Old Navy,  my AH-MAZING dinosaur skeleton necklace that was a random cheapo purchase from a Facebook ad.

And then there's the OOTD that I was dreaming about every second I was at the birthday party, because at heart, I am a lazy hermit.

A Parting Thought: I had three beers last night (Lone Star, because I am a classy bitch, after all) and I woke up with a foggy brain. This is what people don't tell you about getting old, isn't it?

See you at the crossroads...

Rest in Peace, dear friend.

You and I have so many good memories. That time we got you and your family as a gift at our wedding shower. That time I drank wine from you. That other time I drank wine from you. That time you sat on the side of the sink for a month because I kept forgetting to hand wash you. The glorious day when I discovered those weird little post things that clip in to the dishwasher and hold wine glasses and I finally gave up on hand washing wine glasses.

I'm sorry it was my selfish need to de-clutter your home of those stupid Target One Spot divided kid's plates that contributed to your demise. I'll pour one out in remembrance of you, homie.

In Memoriam

Wine Glass
2009--2016

pictured: You and my $6.78-est bottle of wine.

 Wise Thought Of The Day:

"Wiping your own booty is always an option."

Stay At Home Swag.

I decided tonight that the world needs my voice. 

Now I guess I just...start writing? Is that what happens here? Yeah. 

So I'll start from the beginning. 

In November of 2015, I left my job after 9 years at the same company, to be a stay-at-home wife and mom. At 31 years old, this is basically the first time I haven't had a job since I was 18. Turns out, I'm totally prepared mentally for this. I haven't had a single "DAMMIT I WISH I WAS AT THE OFFICE" moment. On the contrary, I'm the happiest I've been in years. 

But there are things that are totally new to me-- being the person mostly responsible for keeping us from showing up on an episode of Hoarders, trying to elevate my style to something slightly above the sweatpants-clad zombies at MDO drop-off...you know. The hard shit. 

So this is my new life. These are my stories.